I've had a lot to learn about peeing outside during this transition from Oakland to The Sticks. When your place of "business" is an outhouse way down a hill and you live on a large piece of property, you can pretty much pee wherever you want. As a girl, once you've mastered the art of squatting to pee without getting pee on your feet or shoes, you're good to go. It's harder than it sounds, actually. For one, you've got to watch out for the splash factor. And if you pee facing uphill, it can roll back onto your feet. So always pee facing downhill! Seriously girls, give it a try next time you're camping or hanging out in your backyard and you'll know what I mean.
But here's the most important thing to remember if peeing outside is your only available form of peeing: do it before you go to bed!!! Even if you don't think you need to pee, give it a good old try before you crawl under the covers. Why? Because if you think it sucks to have to get out of your warm blankies to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night, imagine how much worse it is to have to
1) get out of bed
2) put on shoes or flip flops
3) go outside into the freezing cold
4) walk a few steps away from the front door cause it'd be gross to pee right in front of your own door, and
5) squat down to pee without peeing on yourself.
That's why.
Apparently there is a small "pee outside" movement happening online. It's the new, green thing to do! Jason Mraz does it! And hey, Pee Outside Day is April 19. I'll be participating all day, for sure. Check out http://peeoutside.org/, where I borrowed the graphic for this post.
So, Life in The Sticks Lesson 1: Pee downhill, and pee before you go to bed even if you don't think you have to.
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